Leliel12

[Trigger Warning: More Heroes In Crisis, more horrible attitudes towards mental health, and gore. Add self-harm, gaslighting, depression, PTSD, sheer incompetence in medicine, and a whole bunch more to it.]

[Image heavy by necessity. Also using Imgbb, which is hopefully not blocked, and easier to use than Imgur anyway.]

[Link to das_sporking.]

Malcolm: …I feel a little targeted by that.

Maruki: Well…not to be prejudiced, but you are literally the vigilante vampire with hellfire powers. It is kind of hard to make any reference to Dante without tagging you.

Wanderer: Mildly awkward puns aside, welcome back to this mess of a comic series, where…[sigh] Something I have not been looking forward to happens…

Sumire: …how many of those things are there in this series?!

Leliel: Too many. But there’s a reason we got the psychology sporkers plus the guy who’s plotting to burn it down for this chapter, because this issue is all filler, due to it being a sudden flashback to Sanctuary just before the massacre…and the full reveal that yes, this place is a fucking nightmare of self-inflicted torment.

Malcolm: Correction: I want to burn it down and exorcise the remains. Make sure whatever intelligence formed in the site is well and truly gone.

( We interrupt this series for this breaking filler report: This hospital fucking sucks! )
( Spitefic )

[Trigger Warning: More mental health phobia, of course, but also mild gore, violation of trust and sheer medical malpractice.]

[Image heavy by necessity. Also using a new image hosting service that hopefully isn’t blocked.]

[Fork on das_sporking for members]

Mark: Ugh…looks like I drew the short straw with repeat sporkings.

Stella: If it makes you feel better, I’d honestly prefer sunny, cheerful Alhambra to subjecting meself to this…thing. Because I’m given to understand this is where the storyline gets stupid.

Maruki: Correction: Stupider. It was already pretty dire…

Leliel: Right you are. I wasn’t getting when I called a ‘clue’ here inexplicable, and utterly so. We’ll get into that, but seriously, nobody is smart, least of all Batman, hence the title. And they’re not smart in ways that make them look like selfish jackasses who’d bumble away from the dumb option by taking the good option.

Wanderer: In fact, as we’ll show - we have only begun to scratch the surface of how much of a nightmare Sanctuary is. We revealed a lot already, but seriously, this place comes off as something Darkseid would invent - we weren’t kidding in the comments last time. that a New God of Apokolips masterminding this whole thing would be a massive improvement and a glow-up for that character. In fact, speaking of comments, we have a backpoint!

( On the cover, you are going to see a clown in a position of absolute submission to another, and Harley Quinn. )

( Spitefic )

[Trigger Warning: Lotsa gore, mention of substance abuse, discussion of suicide, all the bad mental health portrayals. It’s going to be quite the series. Also, description of spider monsters in the spitefic.]

[Image heavy by necessity - apologies for the blur on some, trying out new techniques to avoid base-64 coding.]

[Link to fork on Das_Sporking.]

Sumire: [Stares at the title of this sporking, then raises a hand]

Leliel: Steelworking terminology, they’re a type of smithy worker that purifies iron into something less brittle on an industrial scale. Which is, due to this series’ mastery of faux symbolism, is relevant. Don’t worry, they’ll explain what a puddler is, though as we move on, the more and more ridiculous the metaphor will be.

Mark: Uh…yeah, I can kinda sorta maybe almost kinda maybe see it…but “purifies iron to make it strong” already gets my hackles up, because…uh, Viltrumite logic, hello?

Malcolm: If this referred to how the villains saw themselves, I would not mind. But somehow, I suspect this is akin to how the more odious members of my Family convince themselves that they can pig out on the souls of random people who they haven’t seen committing major or violent crimes.

Wanderer: Your expectations are suitably low, because the problems are gonna start with the cover.

( How Not To Frame And Start Your Story )

( Spitefic )

[Link to fork on das-sporking]

[Trigger warning for gore, bad rep of mental health. You will be seeing this warning a lot.]

[Spoiler warning for Persona 5 Royal: Yoshizawa and Maruki’s roles.]

[Mobile warning: Image heavy by necessity]

Leliel: So. Let’s do this one more time, as we explain some things just in case:

( We join our sporkers as they are fetching migraine meds... )

[Trigger Warning: Incestous undertones, weird sex, underage fanservice, ableist humor, adult and gross humor, and discussion of parental emotional abuse. Thankfully, the lore fails are only painful on an intellectual level, and this is the last one. Halle-freaking-lujah.]

[Spoilers for the end of the Horus Heresy novels and the Shakara: the Avenger comic series.]

[Image and video heavy]

[Link to das_sporking]

Leliel: Welcome back to Thousand Shinji where WE HAVE FINALLY REACHED THE LAST CHAPTER!!!!!



Emma: I can’t believe this thing only has 20 chapters, It feels like we’ve been doing this forever.

Shinobu: And holy shit did it scar us. Futaba is now psychic and probably forever tempted by the power of dark sorcery, a co-sporker had to become an Elder God just to contain the damage - and beyond the fourth wall, this fic got so awful one of the three people sporking it just freaking quit near the end.

Taion: And of course, Shinobu and I saw…things. [Shivers in permanent partial loss of sanity and total loss of innocence]

Futaba: Seriously though, while it started off as kind of funny-bad, as the fic went on, it fermented. Pretty much the few redeeming aspects became repetitive and lacking impact, while the bad got skeevy. Thankfully, there’s only a relatively small amount of it this time around, but from what Diego and Nocht tell me, the lore fail is going to be bad.

Nocht: And this is starting from the fact that Him On Terra, who was literally made in opposition to Chaos, was actively working from it. It gets worse from there.

Diego: [Angry fluttering of new wings] To say nothing of the Eva side, and how pretty much everything about it is absorbed by Warhammer in toto to fluff it up…and in so doing, breaks the themes of both beyond repair. [/plug for the spitefic]

[Trigger warning: Body horror, sexism, violence, sexism, infection, childbirth, incest undertones, fetishzing of disease, GENERAL INSANITY. We’re beyond the Rubicon with this one, folks.]

[Link to das_sporking.]

Leliel: [Dead stare] Every time I look at it…it never gets less weird. It’s impressive.

Futaba: Yeah, I…uh…I read the summary of this chapter and the next and…Futaba hurt herself in her confusion. She had to punch herself back to sanity.

Diego: [Low susurrus in a strange, clicking tongue that seems to be in disbelieving agreement.]

Nocht: Erm…can I ask why Diego is currently a colony of xenos fungi? And…I don’t think that’s Low Gothic.

Leliel: Wait, sorry, translator’s not on-[Clicks something.]

Diego: Sl’rezk-ahem! Thanks, much better. I’m not actually physically present, my real self is currently gestating in a chrysalis in a sea of LCL - I had Clarence, my mi-go friend, rig up this as a radio while I complete my ascension to Elder Godhood. Trust me, I’ve seen where this leads from a front-row seat, and sweet merciful All-Mother’s embrace. You are not prepared. None of you are. I wasn’t.

Sophia: Well, it certainly seems things have escalated since I left. Which, given the degree of idiotic heresy we were at last time I was here, doesn’t help much.

Leliel: [plug]Read the spitefic.[/plug] But yeah, you know you’re in for a wild ride when the author’s note tells you Weird Gross Shit Is Going Down.

Thanks, and apologies, to my beta-reader Crazy-88, who I appear to have mentally scarred with this chapter. Prepare for awesome and mindfuckery rarely seen these days. I recommend you bring metal music and a barf bag.

Emma: Mindfuckery, yes. Awesome, no. And I wouldn’t sully any of my beloved Dynazty or A Sound of Thunder by associating it with… this.

Diego: And trust us - we will need a barf bag, but not for the reasons Academia Nut thinks…hopefully. There was a reason Nicholas Cage in one of his distinct roles was the preview image.

[Trigger warnings: Aftermath of mind rape, gore, discussion of sexual assault, misogyny. It’s the last few stretches, folks.]

[Image heavy.]

[ Link to my journal for non-members]

[You may have noticed that one of the IRL co-sporkers has been renamed to Wanderer. Rest assured, it's the same guy, and I'll explain what I can if asked in PMs. Suffice to say, he wants a clean break from his old ID. He is Wanderer/Wanderer2691 in all my previous sporkings now.]

Leliel: Third to last…third to — [Notices Wanderer leaving] ...Wanderer, where are you going?!

Wanderer2691: [Flatly, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, trunks, luau wreath, fedora, shades and crockers, while holding a suitcase full of clothes and his portable game consoles with their associated games] Elsewhere.

Futaba: [Eyes Widen; Exasperated] You mean we can just leave the whole time if we wanted to?!

Wanderer2691: I can, you can't. Remember we own this domain, and I've decided a nice vacation in Hotrealm is what I need after this... shitshow. [Shudders, Before Sternly Grimaces] I'm sorry, normally I’d love to help, but even I've hit my ceiling with this garbage long ago. It's not even funny bad like Shield Hero's inceldom or A Brighter Dark's valiant failure at the source material. This is just bad-bad. I genuinely cannot stomach it any longer.

Leliel: Wait, you can't just leave me here to—

Wanderer2691: Hey, you’re the one who decided to do the Stupid Psychonauts in one go, dude. Just keep me posted if you have anything new, okay? Depending on the future, we may have a skunk to skin... [Beat] ...or an isekai orc. Or— well, whatever, just anything but this. Ciao!

Leliel: Hey, don't you just—

[Wanderer2691 invokes the power of the First Dragons, and warps out of there]

Leliel: [Deflatedly] ...leave me. [Groans in self-pity]

Emma: [Wry Smile] In his defense, he's not wrong; there’s no good way to split this thing. You’re always dealing with entirely too much Thousand Shinji for anyone's sanity.

Taion: Which is why Nocht and Diego are taking a break, I see…but I must ask Shinobu why he tortures himself.

Shinobu: [Bleak smile] Because it gives me an excuse to avoid the next chapter…one I’m informed Nocht needs to see.

Futaba: Hoo boy…I’ve been given the quest log for that too, which is apparently so insane that, despite this not being as terrible as the last two chapters, it’s being spliced off so we can give it all the attention it deserves…especially because, as the title notes, we’re about to see what this fic thinks is a good ending for poor Misato. We will have words.





( The Strategic Myth )

[Trigger Warning: Mind rape, offscreen sexual assault, graphic violence, general trauma, misogyny, offscreen animal cruelty, offscreen suicide, self-harm, voyeurism and an Eldar heading to an unspeakable fate…and this is still a chapter that’s a relief after the last two. Jesus Christ, Sigmar Heldenhammer, and Ruinous Powers above, we are so, so fucking glad we are progessing towards the end.]

[Image heavy.]

[Link to Das Sporking version.]

Leliel: [Finishes up watching a Let’s Play of Space Marine 2] Man, it is such a palate cleanser to see Thousand Sons be…actually competent. And pretty.

Wanderer2691: Seriously. Imurah’s a one-shot villain, but even as gloriously cliche as he is, he comes off as being more genuinely smart than Tzeentchji has this entire fic.

Emma: As many beefs as I have with Games Workshop, they’re at least aware that both sides of a combat need to be reasonably competent, as opposed to Academia Nut, who thinks that basically making Tzeentchji get in fistfights with a baby somehow makes him look better instead of like someone who can’t do anything better.

*Sitting in the guest sporker chair is a red-skinned woman, towering even by the standards of Emma’s co-sporkers, and wearing an outrageous amount of gold and lapis lazuli jewelry*

Magdalene the Red: Why am I here? Sophia is concerned with the sanctity of Chaos, Mortarion doesn’t like anything but complaining… what does this have to do with me?

Shinobu: Defending the honor of your Legion, for one, especially post Space Marine 2. Yeah, those crystal flames almost make me sad Futaba didn’t run off with me to join the version in Sophia’s universe, it’d at least look cool…but I digress. We have a very stupid take on the Thousand Sons here.

Magda: Ah. I see.

Nocht: The good news is, it’s mostly desperately filling in the missing fight scenes, so a lot of it is skippable. The bad news is, it’s still boring and misogynistic where it isn’t…with the exception of one daemon, which is an unfortunate flagrant display of the most shallow and untoward aspects of Slaanesh.

Diego: To say nothing of continuing to never understand how Chaos thinks. In any of the four Dark Gods. Also, we may end up talking about Warhammer’s sister game, and how it actually made Chaos a sympathetic-ish faction. And why it pisses off the toxic fandom so much.

[Trigger warning: Even moar slavery apologia and related abuse, as well as a TON of pedophilia-adjacent stuff. And incest undertones. And threats of sexual assault. And just plain pedophilia and discussion of incest. There is a reason we call Filo the Horror.]

[Image heavy by necessity]

[Link to das_spoking.]

[Scripts are from https://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewforum.php?f=2415, not sporker original work]

[Cut to the sporking chamber, which is now rather…gothy. And piratey. And damp]

Wanderer2691: [Pokes at a scuttling bone-white crab] Uh, Lels? Why are all the co-sporkers you tie yourself to supervillains?

Leliel: [Shrugs] I can be an edgy boy sometimes, and I always like the thematic of an outcast who does good despite being rather terrifying and with a nature that wants to be a baddie.

Luz: Hey, no shade from me. My girlfriend specializes in creating zombie muck monsters, having a hot vampire pirate husbando is hardly aiming low.

Iana: [Purring happily in Suspire’s arms] Well…I cheated. He is, after all, my destined partner. And he is cute enough I don’t feel the need to fight the Bond too hard…and as a fair warning, I’m going to spend the next two episodes wrapped around my dear Eastern sea crow. I need mental healing.

Suspire: Quite. Welcome back to Rising of the Shield Hero, wherein we get two episodes following…That Thing, aka Filo, as she does not develop a better and less timber-shivering second impression, along with full hints of how deep Naofumi’s greed runs.

( The true cost of Golden Not-Chocobo breeding. )

[Trigger warning: Slavery apologia, pedophilia undertones, general misogyny, sex slavery as a joke. Also, spoilers for a decades-old anime in the form of Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood. And, oh yes, mentioned FRONTAL NUDITY OF A MINOR HOLY SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SERIES.]

[Mobile warning: Image heavy by necessity, and a lot of images are pretty big. Prepare to side-scroll]

[Link to mirror on Das Sporking]

Leliel: [Long, pained moan…]

Anne: …I’d ask why, but I saw the other spork they’re working on - check Thousand Shinji, Chapter 14, it’s the one divided into two parts. [Hollow look] My innocence will never come back.

Wanderer2691: Yeah…not only do we have…that chapter we’re recovering from, at the end of this pair of chapters, we’re going to get the most skeevy character in this show on a conceptual level…and it starts with Naofumi, essentially, declaring his allegiance to slavery as a concept because…”respect for others.” Buck up folks, this is gonna be a long one.

Yukiko: [Rigid, terrifying smile] This show is making me root for the hypothetical alien invaders. At least working in the resource mines of Imperator Opresson The XIIIth is universal equality at the bottom.

Chie: Yeah…and the fact the sporking chamber seems to have a leak isn’t helping. [Pokes a wet spot with her foot] Also, there’s four dots in some heavy shadow here, and it’s making me feel a little superstitious…