Leliel12

[Trigger warning: Body horror, sexism, violence, sexism, infection, childbirth, incest undertones, fetishzing of disease, GENERAL INSANITY. We’re beyond the Rubicon with this one, folks.]

[Link to das_sporking.]

Leliel: [Dead stare] Every time I look at it…it never gets less weird. It’s impressive.

Futaba: Yeah, I…uh…I read the summary of this chapter and the next and…Futaba hurt herself in her confusion. She had to punch herself back to sanity.

Diego: [Low susurrus in a strange, clicking tongue that seems to be in disbelieving agreement.]

Nocht: Erm…can I ask why Diego is currently a colony of xenos fungi? And…I don’t think that’s Low Gothic.

Leliel: Wait, sorry, translator’s not on-[Clicks something.]

Diego: Sl’rezk-ahem! Thanks, much better. I’m not actually physically present, my real self is currently gestating in a chrysalis in a sea of LCL - I had Clarence, my mi-go friend, rig up this as a radio while I complete my ascension to Elder Godhood. Trust me, I’ve seen where this leads from a front-row seat, and sweet merciful All-Mother’s embrace. You are not prepared. None of you are. I wasn’t.

Sophia: Well, it certainly seems things have escalated since I left. Which, given the degree of idiotic heresy we were at last time I was here, doesn’t help much.

Leliel: [plug]Read the spitefic.[/plug] But yeah, you know you’re in for a wild ride when the author’s note tells you Weird Gross Shit Is Going Down.

Thanks, and apologies, to my beta-reader Crazy-88, who I appear to have mentally scarred with this chapter. Prepare for awesome and mindfuckery rarely seen these days. I recommend you bring metal music and a barf bag.

Emma: Mindfuckery, yes. Awesome, no. And I wouldn’t sully any of my beloved Dynazty or A Sound of Thunder by associating it with… this.

Diego: And trust us - we will need a barf bag, but not for the reasons Academia Nut thinks…hopefully. There was a reason Nicholas Cage in one of his distinct roles was the preview image.

[Trigger Warning: Mind rape, offscreen sexual assault, graphic violence, general trauma, misogyny, offscreen animal cruelty, offscreen suicide, self-harm, voyeurism and an Eldar heading to an unspeakable fate…and this is still a chapter that’s a relief after the last two. Jesus Christ, Sigmar Heldenhammer, and Ruinous Powers above, we are so, so fucking glad we are progessing towards the end.]

[Image heavy.]

[Link to Das Sporking version.]

Leliel: [Finishes up watching a Let’s Play of Space Marine 2] Man, it is such a palate cleanser to see Thousand Sons be…actually competent. And pretty.

Wanderer2691: Seriously. Imurah’s a one-shot villain, but even as gloriously cliche as he is, he comes off as being more genuinely smart than Tzeentchji has this entire fic.

Emma: As many beefs as I have with Games Workshop, they’re at least aware that both sides of a combat need to be reasonably competent, as opposed to Academia Nut, who thinks that basically making Tzeentchji get in fistfights with a baby somehow makes him look better instead of like someone who can’t do anything better.

*Sitting in the guest sporker chair is a red-skinned woman, towering even by the standards of Emma’s co-sporkers, and wearing an outrageous amount of gold and lapis lazuli jewelry*

Magdalene the Red: Why am I here? Sophia is concerned with the sanctity of Chaos, Mortarion doesn’t like anything but complaining… what does this have to do with me?

Shinobu: Defending the honor of your Legion, for one, especially post Space Marine 2. Yeah, those crystal flames almost make me sad Futaba didn’t run off with me to join the version in Sophia’s universe, it’d at least look cool…but I digress. We have a very stupid take on the Thousand Sons here.

Magda: Ah. I see.

Nocht: The good news is, it’s mostly desperately filling in the missing fight scenes, so a lot of it is skippable. The bad news is, it’s still boring and misogynistic where it isn’t…with the exception of one daemon, which is an unfortunate flagrant display of the most shallow and untoward aspects of Slaanesh.

Diego: To say nothing of continuing to never understand how Chaos thinks. In any of the four Dark Gods. Also, we may end up talking about Warhammer’s sister game, and how it actually made Chaos a sympathetic-ish faction. And why it pisses off the toxic fandom so much.

[Trigger Warning: Mutilation and described animal death plus described body horror, picture of non-graphic body horror and mutilation, and a vaguely spider-like Angel hidden under a link.]

[Mobile Caution: Some images and gifs]

[Link to Das Sporking]

[Cut to sporking chamber, which has redoubled wards, and an entire new section even farther away from Sophia]

Nocht: [Mask off, revealing extremely pale, vampire-like individual] You’re absolutely sure, right? No corruption, or at least minimum, is going to seep over, yes?

Diego: To the extent I and Ambrose were able to Chaos-proof, yes.

Nocht: And she is bound to not find ways around it?

Sophia: That was the terms of a most generous pact with the hosts, that is correct.

Nocht: And there’s monitoring systems in place?

Futaba: [Thumbs-up] Thing of beauty.

Nocht: [Slightly calmer, but hand still resting on pistol nervously] …I suppose that’ll suffice. Come the Apocalypse…

Taion: I would ask why it is there needs to be so many precautions…but I saw the log of the last spork. I must admit, that rage was rather impressive, as was the mental effects…

Wanderer2691: Yeah - my human co-sporker is currently relaxing in the holiest resort world possible after the anime filler nearly made him pick up the hobby of skull collecting; through the power of dimensional contrivance-er, resonance, meet his new second, Kyriotes Nocht, Vindicare Assassin of an Imperium where all the loyalist Primarchs in the more known Warhammer 40K universe were traitors, and all traitors loyalists, also to provide some military commentary.

Nocht: And that is something I am needed for. Sweet Throne, this setting…I actually feel embarrassed on behalf of the Archenemy you read this…

[NOTE: Also posted on Das Sporking here.].

Leliel: Huh. As I’m writing this, I’m looking at a blank page, and realizing - this is the first time in two years I haven’t been riffing off something there.

Wanderer2691: Kinda a bittersweet feeling, huh? Sort of like how we feel about the fic.

Leliel: Yeah…also, to any hypothetical readers who are reading this before the spork - hey there! When you are reading it…we want you to keep in mind we were still processing it while we were sporking it, and a lot of our meanness was…unwarranted.

Wanderer2691: Not all of it, mind you, but - the fic it started as was not the fic it became. If this fic had remained awful throughout - and if we hadn’t met the author - this would be a lot more vicious and victorious. As it is…we just are unhappy he dropped out of fanfiction for at least the near future, because holy smokes, this had potential.

Leliel: And the thing is…it’d honestly be on the good side, were it not for the fic it was. A bad ending can be tolerated in a good work, but a bad beginning will taint the fic utterly.

[Trigger warning: Discussion of torture.]

[Mobile warning: Several gifs and images.]

[NOTE: This is a crosspost from Das_Sporking for commenters - original spork here]

Leliel: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the third to last A Brighter Dark post ever!

Azalin: Harooh…

Wanderer2691: Hey, he got…better towards the end! Actually kinda good at times!

Theresia: If you say so…

Velouria: Yes…they’re just tired.

Caim: Planetary destruction does that.

Leliel: Fair. One more push! I promise, the final reveal will be worth it! …next spork!

[Trigger warning: Sexual assault, sexual harassment, gaslighting]

[Mobile warning: Videos, many images.]

[NOTE: This is a crosspost from Das_Sporking for commenters - original spork here]

Leliel: [Drags himself in, covered in grime, looking exhausted] I. HATE. SEPTEMBER.

Futaba: …is he, uh…is he okay? …and also can I check my purity chamber if he needs a moment? I like all the voices in my head being from places I can waypoint, thanks.

Sophia: As much as I would enjoy your technical expertise for the Word Bearers, you have little to fear from my influence. But more to the point…he does appear to have been through a tribulation of sorts…

Wanderer2691: Trust me, you don’t wanna know. Part of why he’s doing one chapter rather than two is because of various crap going on in his life. The other is…this is when we really see the start of what Academia Nut considers “romance.”

Shinobu: …well, it was a nice vacation, but it’s gotta end someday. And yes, it was spent in a Hive World. I consider that a break from this.

Leliel: Oh, you have no idea. This is also the first of many Angel fights that lose the plot and become sporkable; trust me, readers, things are gonna get nuttier from here.

Emma: Which is a shame, because the fight scenes in this are actually… passable? Tolerable? As long as you ignore the war crimes, and the snobbiness.

[Trigger warning: Emotional manipulation, physical abuse, discussion of canon suicide. Also a picture of a big robot spider.]

[Mild image heaviness.]

[NOTE: This is a crosspost from Das_Sporking for commenters - original spork here]

[Back at the sporking chamber - with a new face present, a rather tall, bald woman in silver power armor with runes tattooed into her face. Also present - holy seals, two-headed eagles, force fields, expensive incense, and church-like booths separating every other sporker from her, with her at the center of a complex octagram star the sporkers are very carefully not in.]

Diego: [Nervous glances] Are…are you sure? There’s…there’s a bunch of people from her universe we could do. Like…her sisters…any of them…including her Kurze…

Taion: As…virulent as her particular influence is, our hosts have isolated any psychic contamination from her. I do admit it is rather…chilly around her.

Diego: It’s not her sorcery I’m afraid of, though that’s a thing to be cautious of. It’s her words…

Silver Priestess: Hmm. You show caution, a stubborn attachment to your beliefs, and a desire to not be deceived into something you would find horrifying - a desire to only be a monster if it is for a real cause. I think that is actually a good thing! I can sense the gestating god-form within you - it has fed well on your will to live on your terms, even if it is something your human brain cannot fully comprehend. It is a bit…awkward, that it is a creature of endless evolution and growth rather than survival and consistency, but I would much enjoy conversing with you and comparing our views of the Primordial Truth - especially once you have finished metamorphosis and your mind is capable of a more nuanced and experiential perspective.

Diego: [Hisses, symbiotes writhe] You stay away from my Legend, Vox Discordia.

Leliel: Hey, cool it, camera’s on! Hello, sporkers, you’ve probably noticed Emma’s new guest. And let me tell you, it’s been…nerve-wracking…

Emma: In my defense, we were looking for an expert.

Boyd the Reaver: Though I think if any version of Lorgar corrupted us into Chaos’ cheerleaders…it’d be better than what Tzeentchji’s gonna pull. At least none of them thinks crushing someone’s ego to meek loyalty is romantic.