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leliel_12[Trigger warning: Discussion of torture.]
[Mobile warning: Several gifs and images.]
[NOTE: This is a crosspost from Das_Sporking for commenters - original spork here]
Leliel: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the third to last A Brighter Dark post ever!
Azalin: Harooh…
Wanderer2691: Hey, he got…better towards the end! Actually kinda good at times!
Theresia: If you say so…
Velouria: Yes…they’re just tired.
Caim: Planetary destruction does that.
Leliel: Fair. One more push! I promise, the final reveal will be worth it! …next spork!
Wanderer2691: By the way, the cut compared these later chapters to a clock running down - and we weren’t kidding. It even starts with an author’s note that admits to the growing gap due to a new job DDI had.
Leliel: We feel uncomfortable showing it, because we don’t know how it turned out - except for the last couple lines.
To compensate, I'm going to try my best to make more stuff happen. I myself got tired of how much filler there's been. I mean, several chapters of nobody moving location was kind of absurd. Things need to start moving faster.
Velouria: [Checks four remaining true chapters] So that was a lie. The filler isn’t quite as bad for us, post-finishing-of-fic, but I can only imagine what it was like to have been present for it while awaiting the next chapter.
Wanderer2691: And more to the point - we might be a bit merciful with the scores here, because once again, the most major issue we had was fixed - and again, Sporkstravaganza. A lot may be missed.
Now, to the fic.
Azalin: Though…it not be much, as all the first few paragraphs are is I believe Mozu plotting…and naught else…
Leliel: All through the niiiight~/This running gag will hopefully amuse you/it’s something to do!
Northern Hoshido
Laslow
Kana: And the joke romance with Sol continues, as she starts to barely cotton on Laslow’s her dad! Urk.
IT’S BEEN OVER FOUR YEARS, DAMNIT: 135
Theresia: And also, Peri is there. Next!
Leliel: ‘Cause this is FILLER!/FILLER TIME!/And the snark will thrill you more than the text will every begin to try!
Azalin: …oh dear. He’s reaching the end…
Wanderer2691: …uh…
Azalin: I lost a bet. That is all I will say…
Nohrian Sea
Silas
Velouria: This is…honestly a little sad for me to describe as filler, but frankly, it’s too spaced out. Silas finds Odin doing an extremely complex incantation to make his wine spicy, at which point Nyx interrupts and gets Silas to leave…but there’s nothing that couldn’t have been folded under Nyx. This is one half of a great scene, made into two lesser scenes that don’t keep the impact of what would happen of it were one. So sadly, it is filler.
Leliel: As sad as it is for this scene to get the song, I really want to show off that blackmail I worked for, so…FILLER (oooh)!/FILLER TIME!/So let’s get out the script and spork a too long (too long), filler toniiiiiiiiight!~
FIXING WHAT AIN’T BROKE: 541 (Because this over-wordiness makes it seem like Odin is just being Odin rather than being depressed, which is…well, next scene.)
Nohrian Sea
Nyx
Caim: And this is where the other shoe drops. Nyx realizes Odin has some severe holes in his understanding of Dark Magic, and may not have a full education on it - and that behind his theatricality, he’s not happy at all. Because his grasp on the most precise aspects of his craft failed at the worst possible time, since the death curse he used (from an old nemesis of Nyx) was something he didn’t want - but his poor detail orientation failed at the worst possible time…
He wanted to say something, but then sighed. "It...wasn't supposed to be lethal." He admitted, breathing out as he did so, as if dropping a heavy weight. "I know, that's what they told me to do, but...I figured, I could just modify the spell so that it only made them unable to fight. I didn't think it would...kill them so badly."
"But something went wrong. You didn't properly measure your ingredients."
Theresia: And this, however much it’s humiliating to Odin, shows Cheve was actually well-considered, even if the consequences weren’t. He didn’t want to be part of this, and in retrospect, he comes off as bullied into it. So he did his best, but the screwup he had ultimately made the sickness worse. He is still part of the war crime, but he wasn’t just following orders; he was trying to interpret them in a way that avoided the genocide, but wasn’t able to, and his superiors praised him for failing. He’s guilt-ridden and sad, and frankly, this makes him one of the most genuinely sympathetic Nohrian characters.
[Beat]
Theresia: With all that being said, everybody else needs to toss themselves off a cliff!
BRIGHTER MY ASS: 148
Caim: I pity Odin. I’d probably still kill him in a fight, because that’s what I’d do, but he’d just be a soldier of the Empire to me, not someone who needed to die. But as for everyone else in that council? [Licks sword with crazed expression]
Kana: If anything, the fact he was trying to sabotage the plan makes it worse, as it’s clear he was being bullied into something horrible. And so it ends up scarring him badly too, as shown with Mystical Wine Odin. In effect, the invaders of Cheve were betraying someone on their own team, too.
Wanderer2691: A problem this fic is, is that it views the Nohrians as protagonists, still. Having talked to DDI, it’s clear that he knew they were antiheroes, but genocide is a bit far beyond what anyone could do and still be considered anything but a particularly awful villain protagonist - a noble one would probably cheat like hell, but only so much as to win, not commit mass murder of civilians to do so. Hell, Disgaea got this right - Disgaea 7: Vows of the Virtueless follows a bandit ronin demon turned mercenary who regularly conscripts his opponents into debt labor if they can’t pay off his asked ransom, and just for the sake of pragmatism he honors every deal he makes and demands surrender if he gets the upper hand, very intentionally sparing people if mostly so he can negotiate a ransom or coercive contract later for the actual combatants, he leaves civilians alone. Even before you realize why he needs the money, Fuji comes off as someone who is amoral and pragmatic rather than cruel - especially because everyone’s a demon, and thus, a level of asshole behavior is expected.
Azalin: Be it as it may, Nyx declares herself Odin’s mentor, steps outside and-
"100 years, hm?" She heard that creaky voice, like an unsteady wooden floor. An old dialect of Nohrian that should be extinct by now. "Women do prefer to downplay their age, but even still, I think that's taking it a bit far."
Azalin: -ignosce mihi?
"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here, on the crossroads of history. You do enjoy meddling in these things."
"You are hardly one to criticize. Wandering around, always in the right place at the right time. Been there, shaped history. Still trying to play the immortal hero after all these centuries. Still the delusions of a child."
Theresia: And he knows Nyx?! What?! Is this someone from her village or-
"There are no heroes in this world. I'm just taking responsibility for my actions." She glared at him. She held no illusions of his capacity for changing, but even still, to see him as the same old, bitter, selfish man she'd known all those hundreds of years ago was disappointing. "Not that you would know anything about responsibility."
Velouria: …does….does Nyx have an ex?
Leliel: [Barely concealed laughter] I…I-I am so s-sorry, that I keep delaying, but…pfuhuhuhuhu…you are not ready for the final chapter twist. And I want…everyone to hear it…
Caim: All…right…essentially, the other immortal says that he desires revenge and peace, in roughly that order - maybe I should start a club - and Nyx says their goals align. She wants an end to the war, and she thinks Nohr is easier to provoke into final victory in the long cold war. But, she leaves him with a threat to never to lay a hand on her again. Ex. Definitely an ex.
Kana: …didn’t Nyx stop aging when she was a kid-
Wanderer2691: Gonna stop you right there, it’s heavily implied Nyx in this continuity looks younger than the age she was when she became immortal. Going to head that discussion off and never mention it again.
Nohrian Sea
Silas
Velouria: And this is something I’m not sure can be called filler, as it’s Silas starting up the beginnings of a relationship with Charlotte while talking about his life and shared experiences with her, especially his disillusionment with Corrin. Nothing too much happens, but nothing to complain about, and it doesn’t dilute the story. Next!
Hoshidan Sea
Corrin
Theresia: …this is filler, plain and simple, though. It’s just Corrin anticipating the incoming conquest for three paragraphs. And nothing else.
GODS SAVE US FROM THE PRINCESS: 155 (Yeah, villain, but this looks weirdly heroic and sympathetic, since it comes off as “overcoming a trauma”).
Leliel: ‘Cause this is FILLER!/FILLER TIME!/Man, this snark will thrill you more than the text will ever begin to try!
Fun Fact: The process of becoming a knight usually began at the age of 8, when a young noble would be taken into the tutelage of an established knight, away from home. Beginning as a page, they would learn to read and write and hear stories of chivalry to inspire them. From 14 to 15 they would become squires, actively fighting alongside their teacher and honing their swordsmanship and becoming strong enough to fight in full armor. At around 20, they would finally be knighted, in a special and highly religious ceremony that firmly established them as both a professional in their craft and a devoted sword to the king and a champion of God.
On paper, at least. They were kind of assholes in practice. The more you know.
Wanderer2691: This is actually relevant given how Silas talked about his own knighthood and family, and there’s also a bit of a life-affirming message underneath this end note, so no snark. There is, however, a point, as only a couple POVs would be worth examining in a full spork, Nyx’s scene and the Charlotte talk. So…
VERBOSITY OF THE FILLER EMBLEM: 16
Theresia: And this chapter…well it starts off pretty strong. And that isn’t a compliment, about a fourth of this is a scene of Kagero being tortured. Very nastily. With a friend of Selena’s I sadly do not want to think of this enough to recognize, as she is not described.
Leliel: Yeah…not doing the next verse due to that. Urp.
A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE… EMBLEM: 219
Divine Dragon Forest
Wanderer2691: The next part, though…it’s Mozu’s running battle with Leo. During it, he comes to his senses and realizes he was being a short-sighted dick when he did that cheap shot on Hans, and he accidentally sets the forest more ablaze…and no other plot movement happens.
This fight isn’t even resolved this chapter.
And the next bit is Reina talking with Ryoma about his plans for the Kitsune alliance and Mikoto’s own governance and life, which while appreciated, also have no plot movement.
So, in this newly upgraded pace, nothing has happened.
For 5 pages in Word.
There is nothing happening.
For twenty five.
THOUSAND.
AND FOURTEEN.
FUCKING.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOORDS.
Azalin: …I am no longer unenthused. Vassal, begin!
Leliel: So let us spork some pages of some too long/too long filler (OW!)/There’s a lot of filler here tonight...
Azalin: Darkness falls across the land,
The dozing off is close at hand,
Authors crawl in search of views,
But bring ennui to y’all’s neighborhood…
Outdoor Zombies:
VERBOSITY OF THE FILLER EMBLEM: 17
Mokushu
Caim: [Shaken out of staring at DJ Azalin] Ah - this actually has something to it! Two original characters, Keita and Minzo, are guarding Kagero’s prison, but an intruder heavily implied to be Saizo kills them to get to her.
Fun Fact: Sasumata, translating to spear fork, was a pole weapon with spikes at the end useful for grabbing onto clothes and flesh. Used primarily by samurai police and security forces for detaining criminals non-lethally, if not exactly painlessly. Today, a modern version is used occasionally by Japanese police as a self-defense tool, made from aluminum and without the sharpened spikes. The more you know.
Kana: Which actually was relevant, as a sasumata was used that chapter and it’s useful to know what they are. Next!
Velouria: In…a bit that’s somewhat sad, we actually get DDI’s thoughts here.
So, addressing the obvious:
Yes, this story has been abandoned for an entire year.
No, I had not planned on continuing or finishing it. Not due to any life emergency. Not due to death. Not even because it was unsatisfying.
There were a few reasons.
Wanderer2691: Let’s comment on them!
1) Fight scenes. I'm not good at them, and there were a few in this chapter. And every time I sat down to do them, I just stared at a blinking I bar for a really long time before closing off. It was discouraging.
Caim: This is honestly surprising. The fight scenes came off as more than competent. Not that I don’t believe him, but I have to admit he got the amount of detail right.
Kana: Though, we did keep skipping them for more than one reason…he got that they were getting kinda generic.
2) I don't have a very solid idea of where the story is going. I've mostly set things in motion and play them out to their logical end. But it can also be discouraging to not see an end in mind, after you've already done 40 chapters.
Leliel: This is just plain true though. Especially with the whole Mozu and Leo saga, it’s coming off like wheels are spinning at this point.
3) I had very little love for Fire Emblem Fates to begin with. I never stopped playing the Nohr route just before the final chapter. And never even touched the Hoshido or third routes. So a lot of the lore I was pulling out of my own ass.
Wanderer2691: [Groans] We could tell...
4) This just never felt like my best work. Like "For Whom The Bell Tolls" before it, I started this in high school, and I've always felt the quality shows. Reading it, I can only ever see what's wrong with it.
Theresia: And to be honest - we only skimmed it at first, so we didn’t get the idea of how much was based in lack of skill rather than lack of care. Hence, why we started up as far, far angrier than was warranted. Or realized where the largest problems would be. So, it was a learning experience for us, as well!
That being said, even a whole year after I'd stopped posting anything, I still get emails. "Story favorite. Story alert. Author favorite. Review." A whole year later makes me think, well, maybe it's better than even I gave it credit for.
Azalin: [Flatly] The people on Fanfiction.net have suspect taste. At least, in aggregate.
So, I don't know how long I'll keep this enthusiasm, but I'll try my best to see how far the rabbit hole goes.
Caim: Not very, as it turns out, given we are on the second-to-last true chapter.
Wanderer2691: And since there is no POV tags, let’s launch into the next! Basically, Azura is arriving in Nohr with Elise and Garon, but is hating every second of it, given Sunless Hell, and it’s made clear that she’s here primarily to assassinate Garon, who she doesn’t regard as her father, but an enemy of Hoshido. This probably wouldn’t have been worth A DIMMER LIGHT points anyway, especially because it’s shown Garon isn’t especially improving his view of her - and then he goes and convinces her it’s for Nohr’s sake too, as they’re ambushed by Ice Tribe survivors who Garon openly gloats he’s going to genocide.
Azalin: This not even be worth BRIGHTER MY ASS either, as this be explicitly a reason Garon is impractical in vengeance as opposed to something less costly, and blamed on their blood. It be a reason that he is a bad king, not just harsh - though it be worth one of these points due to random waylaying vengeful assassins:
A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE… EMBLEM: 220
Divine Dragon Forest
Mozu
Caim: And similar to earlier with Nyx…the plot development that happens here isn’t filler, but there’s more POV switches than needed, in particular a scene which is just Sakura being dazed. Which makes the intended scene, Mozu defeating Leo but deciding she doesn’t want to be me and spares him, at which point Sakura helps her off the battlefield.
Velouria: And once again - plot is good, but oh dragons is the stretching of material obvious. Which means… [sigh], continue the song…
Azalin: And whosoever shall be found,
Without the wit for sporking ‘round,
Must trudge through heart of text wall hell,
Until their soul is but an empty shell…
Zombies:
Leliel: Well, I’m glad I’m helping them have fun…
VERBOSITY OF THE FILLER EMBLEM: 18
Fun Fact: In a fire, unless it's directly applied with napalm or something like that, it's usually not actually the fire that kills you. It's the smoke that chokes you and deprives you of oxygen until you suffer brain death.
Review Response (yes, I'm doing this now):
Theresia: We’re not, though! Not our reviews, and we aren’t reading them anyway! Next!
Oh wow, the story is back! I bet we'll get tons of new chapters, right?
...Well, more than once per year, I guess.
Leliel: …man knowing how wrong this is really doesn’t feel good with DDI’s defeated attitude…
Caim: Start is good, with a furious Saizo reflecting he’s breaking his honor and loyalty to save Kagero but doesn’t care, moving through.
Hoshidan Sea
Corrin
Theresia: This is several paragraph’s of Corrin’s self-pity, largely, with Felicia reappearing to (thankfully) retcon away her still being loyal; it’s clear that she is only there due to lack of any prospects of being able to leave and Corrin realizes is probably terrified into obedience. We would like to clarify that when we were writing how Felicia ceased to matter after that not-a-virgin joke, this scene slipped our minds - it’s clear she still had a part to play in some version of the fic that continued.
Kana: But before you think it’s being aware of herself, though…
That castle on a hill. With its rows of buildings stretching ever higher toward the clouds. The perfect inversion to Castle Krakenburg in terms of architecture. That promise of prosperity.
Built upon foundations of slums and the backs of less fortunates. Just as it was in Nohr. Weighed down by naivety and weakness.
Even with endless abundance, they still created victims.
Was that all prosperity was?
Velouria: *Corringula* “Also, what do you mean by ‘whataboutism’?”
GODS SAVE US FROM THE PRINCESS: 156 (Cool story, still invading.)
Wanderer2691: Beyond that…there’s a whole section with Jakob that is mostly just making plots that consist of “loot and pillage”, and could easily have been skipped with more dramatic tension in the deal. Stretching it out even more. DDI’s said he felt obligated for a minimum word count at this point, never would have guessed…
Azalin: The stench of beige is somehow in air
You feel you’ve been here for a thousand years
Your excitement is long been in a tomb
And your every cell slowly marches towards doom…
Zombies:
Kitsune Hovel
Kana: …you mean the Kitsune Hamlet?
Velouria: You had best be glad Kaden isn’t here. The very thought of his tail being immersed in a hovel would probably result in one last rampage.
IT’S BEEN OVER FOUR YEARS, DAMNIT: 136
Reina
Leliel: But apart from that…this is just good. Reina and Ryoma are taken in by the Kitsune, and while Kaden is skeptical there’s something Ryoma can offer them they want right now, he is impressed and is open to future negotiations. This is explicitly Ryoma showing he’s a great diplomat, and I love it.
Mokushu Hideout
Saizo
Theresia: … And it is followed up by a good few paragraphs of Saizo extracting Kagero from her cell, only to be ambushed by probably Beruka. And the last words of the fully written chapter are…
A young woman. Nohrian. With an unmistakable seething rage in her eyes.
A rage that matched his own.
Theresia: A cliffhanger to filler.
Fun Fact: Did you know that a group of foxes is referred to as a skulk or a leash? The more you know!
Wanderer2691: And so this fic ends the only way it could - with barely related tangential information.
Azalin: And though you fight to stay awake,
Your eyelids start to quiver,
For no mere mortal can resist,
The Excess of…THE FILLER.
Kana: …eep! Nice work…
Azalin: Practicing different forms of other persons' malicious laughter is a good way to focus the mind, yes.
Leliel: And with that, we have reached the end of the formal chapters! It will probably be a bit before we do the last chapter and the outline of the absolute insanity this fic was aiming for, followed by our final thoughts…but until then, we bid you, and this fic proper, all adieu.
[Mobile warning: Several gifs and images.]
[NOTE: This is a crosspost from Das_Sporking for commenters - original spork here]
Leliel: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the third to last A Brighter Dark post ever!
Azalin: Harooh…
Wanderer2691: Hey, he got…better towards the end! Actually kinda good at times!
Theresia: If you say so…
Velouria: Yes…they’re just tired.
Caim: Planetary destruction does that.
Leliel: Fair. One more push! I promise, the final reveal will be worth it! …next spork!
Chapter 41: Forward, To Conquest
Wanderer2691: By the way, the cut compared these later chapters to a clock running down - and we weren’t kidding. It even starts with an author’s note that admits to the growing gap due to a new job DDI had.
Leliel: We feel uncomfortable showing it, because we don’t know how it turned out - except for the last couple lines.
To compensate, I'm going to try my best to make more stuff happen. I myself got tired of how much filler there's been. I mean, several chapters of nobody moving location was kind of absurd. Things need to start moving faster.
Velouria: [Checks four remaining true chapters] So that was a lie. The filler isn’t quite as bad for us, post-finishing-of-fic, but I can only imagine what it was like to have been present for it while awaiting the next chapter.
Wanderer2691: And more to the point - we might be a bit merciful with the scores here, because once again, the most major issue we had was fixed - and again, Sporkstravaganza. A lot may be missed.
Now, to the fic.
Azalin: Though…it not be much, as all the first few paragraphs are is I believe Mozu plotting…and naught else…
Leliel: All through the niiiight~/This running gag will hopefully amuse you/it’s something to do!
Northern Hoshido
Laslow
Kana: And the joke romance with Sol continues, as she starts to barely cotton on Laslow’s her dad! Urk.
IT’S BEEN OVER FOUR YEARS, DAMNIT: 135
Theresia: And also, Peri is there. Next!
Leliel: ‘Cause this is FILLER!/FILLER TIME!/And the snark will thrill you more than the text will every begin to try!
Azalin: …oh dear. He’s reaching the end…
Wanderer2691: …uh…
Azalin: I lost a bet. That is all I will say…
Nohrian Sea
Silas
Velouria: This is…honestly a little sad for me to describe as filler, but frankly, it’s too spaced out. Silas finds Odin doing an extremely complex incantation to make his wine spicy, at which point Nyx interrupts and gets Silas to leave…but there’s nothing that couldn’t have been folded under Nyx. This is one half of a great scene, made into two lesser scenes that don’t keep the impact of what would happen of it were one. So sadly, it is filler.
Leliel: As sad as it is for this scene to get the song, I really want to show off that blackmail I worked for, so…FILLER (oooh)!/FILLER TIME!/So let’s get out the script and spork a too long (too long), filler toniiiiiiiiight!~
FIXING WHAT AIN’T BROKE: 541 (Because this over-wordiness makes it seem like Odin is just being Odin rather than being depressed, which is…well, next scene.)
Nohrian Sea
Nyx
Caim: And this is where the other shoe drops. Nyx realizes Odin has some severe holes in his understanding of Dark Magic, and may not have a full education on it - and that behind his theatricality, he’s not happy at all. Because his grasp on the most precise aspects of his craft failed at the worst possible time, since the death curse he used (from an old nemesis of Nyx) was something he didn’t want - but his poor detail orientation failed at the worst possible time…
He wanted to say something, but then sighed. "It...wasn't supposed to be lethal." He admitted, breathing out as he did so, as if dropping a heavy weight. "I know, that's what they told me to do, but...I figured, I could just modify the spell so that it only made them unable to fight. I didn't think it would...kill them so badly."
"But something went wrong. You didn't properly measure your ingredients."
Theresia: And this, however much it’s humiliating to Odin, shows Cheve was actually well-considered, even if the consequences weren’t. He didn’t want to be part of this, and in retrospect, he comes off as bullied into it. So he did his best, but the screwup he had ultimately made the sickness worse. He is still part of the war crime, but he wasn’t just following orders; he was trying to interpret them in a way that avoided the genocide, but wasn’t able to, and his superiors praised him for failing. He’s guilt-ridden and sad, and frankly, this makes him one of the most genuinely sympathetic Nohrian characters.
[Beat]
Theresia: With all that being said, everybody else needs to toss themselves off a cliff!
BRIGHTER MY ASS: 148
Caim: I pity Odin. I’d probably still kill him in a fight, because that’s what I’d do, but he’d just be a soldier of the Empire to me, not someone who needed to die. But as for everyone else in that council? [Licks sword with crazed expression]
Kana: If anything, the fact he was trying to sabotage the plan makes it worse, as it’s clear he was being bullied into something horrible. And so it ends up scarring him badly too, as shown with Mystical Wine Odin. In effect, the invaders of Cheve were betraying someone on their own team, too.
Wanderer2691: A problem this fic is, is that it views the Nohrians as protagonists, still. Having talked to DDI, it’s clear that he knew they were antiheroes, but genocide is a bit far beyond what anyone could do and still be considered anything but a particularly awful villain protagonist - a noble one would probably cheat like hell, but only so much as to win, not commit mass murder of civilians to do so. Hell, Disgaea got this right - Disgaea 7: Vows of the Virtueless follows a bandit ronin demon turned mercenary who regularly conscripts his opponents into debt labor if they can’t pay off his asked ransom, and just for the sake of pragmatism he honors every deal he makes and demands surrender if he gets the upper hand, very intentionally sparing people if mostly so he can negotiate a ransom or coercive contract later for the actual combatants, he leaves civilians alone. Even before you realize why he needs the money, Fuji comes off as someone who is amoral and pragmatic rather than cruel - especially because everyone’s a demon, and thus, a level of asshole behavior is expected.
Azalin: Be it as it may, Nyx declares herself Odin’s mentor, steps outside and-
"100 years, hm?" She heard that creaky voice, like an unsteady wooden floor. An old dialect of Nohrian that should be extinct by now. "Women do prefer to downplay their age, but even still, I think that's taking it a bit far."
Azalin: -ignosce mihi?
"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here, on the crossroads of history. You do enjoy meddling in these things."
"You are hardly one to criticize. Wandering around, always in the right place at the right time. Been there, shaped history. Still trying to play the immortal hero after all these centuries. Still the delusions of a child."
Theresia: And he knows Nyx?! What?! Is this someone from her village or-
"There are no heroes in this world. I'm just taking responsibility for my actions." She glared at him. She held no illusions of his capacity for changing, but even still, to see him as the same old, bitter, selfish man she'd known all those hundreds of years ago was disappointing. "Not that you would know anything about responsibility."
Velouria: …does….does Nyx have an ex?
Leliel: [Barely concealed laughter] I…I-I am so s-sorry, that I keep delaying, but…pfuhuhuhuhu…you are not ready for the final chapter twist. And I want…everyone to hear it…
Caim: All…right…essentially, the other immortal says that he desires revenge and peace, in roughly that order - maybe I should start a club - and Nyx says their goals align. She wants an end to the war, and she thinks Nohr is easier to provoke into final victory in the long cold war. But, she leaves him with a threat to never to lay a hand on her again. Ex. Definitely an ex.
Kana: …didn’t Nyx stop aging when she was a kid-
Wanderer2691: Gonna stop you right there, it’s heavily implied Nyx in this continuity looks younger than the age she was when she became immortal. Going to head that discussion off and never mention it again.
Nohrian Sea
Silas
Velouria: And this is something I’m not sure can be called filler, as it’s Silas starting up the beginnings of a relationship with Charlotte while talking about his life and shared experiences with her, especially his disillusionment with Corrin. Nothing too much happens, but nothing to complain about, and it doesn’t dilute the story. Next!
Hoshidan Sea
Corrin
Theresia: …this is filler, plain and simple, though. It’s just Corrin anticipating the incoming conquest for three paragraphs. And nothing else.
GODS SAVE US FROM THE PRINCESS: 155 (Yeah, villain, but this looks weirdly heroic and sympathetic, since it comes off as “overcoming a trauma”).
Leliel: ‘Cause this is FILLER!/FILLER TIME!/Man, this snark will thrill you more than the text will ever begin to try!
Fun Fact: The process of becoming a knight usually began at the age of 8, when a young noble would be taken into the tutelage of an established knight, away from home. Beginning as a page, they would learn to read and write and hear stories of chivalry to inspire them. From 14 to 15 they would become squires, actively fighting alongside their teacher and honing their swordsmanship and becoming strong enough to fight in full armor. At around 20, they would finally be knighted, in a special and highly religious ceremony that firmly established them as both a professional in their craft and a devoted sword to the king and a champion of God.
On paper, at least. They were kind of assholes in practice. The more you know.
Wanderer2691: This is actually relevant given how Silas talked about his own knighthood and family, and there’s also a bit of a life-affirming message underneath this end note, so no snark. There is, however, a point, as only a couple POVs would be worth examining in a full spork, Nyx’s scene and the Charlotte talk. So…
VERBOSITY OF THE FILLER EMBLEM: 16
Chapter 42: Embers and Shadows
Theresia: And this chapter…well it starts off pretty strong. And that isn’t a compliment, about a fourth of this is a scene of Kagero being tortured. Very nastily. With a friend of Selena’s I sadly do not want to think of this enough to recognize, as she is not described.
Leliel: Yeah…not doing the next verse due to that. Urp.
A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE… EMBLEM: 219
Divine Dragon Forest
Wanderer2691: The next part, though…it’s Mozu’s running battle with Leo. During it, he comes to his senses and realizes he was being a short-sighted dick when he did that cheap shot on Hans, and he accidentally sets the forest more ablaze…and no other plot movement happens.
This fight isn’t even resolved this chapter.
And the next bit is Reina talking with Ryoma about his plans for the Kitsune alliance and Mikoto’s own governance and life, which while appreciated, also have no plot movement.
So, in this newly upgraded pace, nothing has happened.
For 5 pages in Word.
There is nothing happening.
For twenty five.
THOUSAND.
AND FOURTEEN.
FUCKING.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOORDS.
Azalin: …I am no longer unenthused. Vassal, begin!
Leliel: So let us spork some pages of some too long/too long filler (OW!)/There’s a lot of filler here tonight...
Azalin: Darkness falls across the land,
The dozing off is close at hand,
Authors crawl in search of views,
But bring ennui to y’all’s neighborhood…
Outdoor Zombies:
VERBOSITY OF THE FILLER EMBLEM: 17
Mokushu
Caim: [Shaken out of staring at DJ Azalin] Ah - this actually has something to it! Two original characters, Keita and Minzo, are guarding Kagero’s prison, but an intruder heavily implied to be Saizo kills them to get to her.
Fun Fact: Sasumata, translating to spear fork, was a pole weapon with spikes at the end useful for grabbing onto clothes and flesh. Used primarily by samurai police and security forces for detaining criminals non-lethally, if not exactly painlessly. Today, a modern version is used occasionally by Japanese police as a self-defense tool, made from aluminum and without the sharpened spikes. The more you know.
Kana: Which actually was relevant, as a sasumata was used that chapter and it’s useful to know what they are. Next!
Chapter 43: Through the Wounds
Velouria: In…a bit that’s somewhat sad, we actually get DDI’s thoughts here.
So, addressing the obvious:
Yes, this story has been abandoned for an entire year.
No, I had not planned on continuing or finishing it. Not due to any life emergency. Not due to death. Not even because it was unsatisfying.
There were a few reasons.
Wanderer2691: Let’s comment on them!
1) Fight scenes. I'm not good at them, and there were a few in this chapter. And every time I sat down to do them, I just stared at a blinking I bar for a really long time before closing off. It was discouraging.
Caim: This is honestly surprising. The fight scenes came off as more than competent. Not that I don’t believe him, but I have to admit he got the amount of detail right.
Kana: Though, we did keep skipping them for more than one reason…he got that they were getting kinda generic.
2) I don't have a very solid idea of where the story is going. I've mostly set things in motion and play them out to their logical end. But it can also be discouraging to not see an end in mind, after you've already done 40 chapters.
Leliel: This is just plain true though. Especially with the whole Mozu and Leo saga, it’s coming off like wheels are spinning at this point.
3) I had very little love for Fire Emblem Fates to begin with. I never stopped playing the Nohr route just before the final chapter. And never even touched the Hoshido or third routes. So a lot of the lore I was pulling out of my own ass.
Wanderer2691: [Groans] We could tell...
4) This just never felt like my best work. Like "For Whom The Bell Tolls" before it, I started this in high school, and I've always felt the quality shows. Reading it, I can only ever see what's wrong with it.
Theresia: And to be honest - we only skimmed it at first, so we didn’t get the idea of how much was based in lack of skill rather than lack of care. Hence, why we started up as far, far angrier than was warranted. Or realized where the largest problems would be. So, it was a learning experience for us, as well!
That being said, even a whole year after I'd stopped posting anything, I still get emails. "Story favorite. Story alert. Author favorite. Review." A whole year later makes me think, well, maybe it's better than even I gave it credit for.
Azalin: [Flatly] The people on Fanfiction.net have suspect taste. At least, in aggregate.
So, I don't know how long I'll keep this enthusiasm, but I'll try my best to see how far the rabbit hole goes.
Caim: Not very, as it turns out, given we are on the second-to-last true chapter.
Wanderer2691: And since there is no POV tags, let’s launch into the next! Basically, Azura is arriving in Nohr with Elise and Garon, but is hating every second of it, given Sunless Hell, and it’s made clear that she’s here primarily to assassinate Garon, who she doesn’t regard as her father, but an enemy of Hoshido. This probably wouldn’t have been worth A DIMMER LIGHT points anyway, especially because it’s shown Garon isn’t especially improving his view of her - and then he goes and convinces her it’s for Nohr’s sake too, as they’re ambushed by Ice Tribe survivors who Garon openly gloats he’s going to genocide.
Azalin: This not even be worth BRIGHTER MY ASS either, as this be explicitly a reason Garon is impractical in vengeance as opposed to something less costly, and blamed on their blood. It be a reason that he is a bad king, not just harsh - though it be worth one of these points due to random waylaying vengeful assassins:
A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE… EMBLEM: 220
Divine Dragon Forest
Mozu
Caim: And similar to earlier with Nyx…the plot development that happens here isn’t filler, but there’s more POV switches than needed, in particular a scene which is just Sakura being dazed. Which makes the intended scene, Mozu defeating Leo but deciding she doesn’t want to be me and spares him, at which point Sakura helps her off the battlefield.
Velouria: And once again - plot is good, but oh dragons is the stretching of material obvious. Which means… [sigh], continue the song…
Azalin: And whosoever shall be found,
Without the wit for sporking ‘round,
Must trudge through heart of text wall hell,
Until their soul is but an empty shell…
Zombies:
Leliel: Well, I’m glad I’m helping them have fun…
VERBOSITY OF THE FILLER EMBLEM: 18
Fun Fact: In a fire, unless it's directly applied with napalm or something like that, it's usually not actually the fire that kills you. It's the smoke that chokes you and deprives you of oxygen until you suffer brain death.
Review Response (yes, I'm doing this now):
Theresia: We’re not, though! Not our reviews, and we aren’t reading them anyway! Next!
Chapter 44: Descent into Light and Dark
Oh wow, the story is back! I bet we'll get tons of new chapters, right?
...Well, more than once per year, I guess.
Leliel: …man knowing how wrong this is really doesn’t feel good with DDI’s defeated attitude…
Caim: Start is good, with a furious Saizo reflecting he’s breaking his honor and loyalty to save Kagero but doesn’t care, moving through.
Hoshidan Sea
Corrin
Theresia: This is several paragraph’s of Corrin’s self-pity, largely, with Felicia reappearing to (thankfully) retcon away her still being loyal; it’s clear that she is only there due to lack of any prospects of being able to leave and Corrin realizes is probably terrified into obedience. We would like to clarify that when we were writing how Felicia ceased to matter after that not-a-virgin joke, this scene slipped our minds - it’s clear she still had a part to play in some version of the fic that continued.
Kana: But before you think it’s being aware of herself, though…
That castle on a hill. With its rows of buildings stretching ever higher toward the clouds. The perfect inversion to Castle Krakenburg in terms of architecture. That promise of prosperity.
Built upon foundations of slums and the backs of less fortunates. Just as it was in Nohr. Weighed down by naivety and weakness.
Even with endless abundance, they still created victims.
Was that all prosperity was?
Velouria: *Corringula* “Also, what do you mean by ‘whataboutism’?”
GODS SAVE US FROM THE PRINCESS: 156 (Cool story, still invading.)
Wanderer2691: Beyond that…there’s a whole section with Jakob that is mostly just making plots that consist of “loot and pillage”, and could easily have been skipped with more dramatic tension in the deal. Stretching it out even more. DDI’s said he felt obligated for a minimum word count at this point, never would have guessed…
Azalin: The stench of beige is somehow in air
You feel you’ve been here for a thousand years
Your excitement is long been in a tomb
And your every cell slowly marches towards doom…
Zombies:
Kitsune Hovel
Kana: …you mean the Kitsune Hamlet?
Velouria: You had best be glad Kaden isn’t here. The very thought of his tail being immersed in a hovel would probably result in one last rampage.
IT’S BEEN OVER FOUR YEARS, DAMNIT: 136
Reina
Leliel: But apart from that…this is just good. Reina and Ryoma are taken in by the Kitsune, and while Kaden is skeptical there’s something Ryoma can offer them they want right now, he is impressed and is open to future negotiations. This is explicitly Ryoma showing he’s a great diplomat, and I love it.
Mokushu Hideout
Saizo
Theresia: … And it is followed up by a good few paragraphs of Saizo extracting Kagero from her cell, only to be ambushed by probably Beruka. And the last words of the fully written chapter are…
A young woman. Nohrian. With an unmistakable seething rage in her eyes.
A rage that matched his own.
Theresia: A cliffhanger to filler.
Fun Fact: Did you know that a group of foxes is referred to as a skulk or a leash? The more you know!
Wanderer2691: And so this fic ends the only way it could - with barely related tangential information.
Azalin: And though you fight to stay awake,
Your eyelids start to quiver,
For no mere mortal can resist,
The Excess of…THE FILLER.
Kana: …eep! Nice work…
Azalin: Practicing different forms of other persons' malicious laughter is a good way to focus the mind, yes.
Leliel: And with that, we have reached the end of the formal chapters! It will probably be a bit before we do the last chapter and the outline of the absolute insanity this fic was aiming for, followed by our final thoughts…but until then, we bid you, and this fic proper, all adieu.
