Leliel12

[Trigger Warning: Even more slavery apologia, including a real clunker of an end line. And creepy power dynamics bordering on pedophilia. And a fucking suicide attempt used as a cheap aside to expand the harem. Basically, there’s more than one reason I’ve decided against doing Season 2.]

[Spoilers for Tales of Symphonia.]

[Image heavy by necessity.]

[Scripts are from https://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewforum.php?f=2415, not sporker original work.]

[Link to das_sporking.]

Leliel: Welcome back to Rising of the Shield Hero in which OH GOD I AM SO SICK OF THIS END MY MISERY. [Sobs]

Anne: …uh…

Yukiko: …is he…okay…?

Shivaska: …Geez. Even I’m open to him using his sick days…

Iana: [Gravely] He has lost himself.

Wanderer: Yeah…after the sheer bag of dicks that was his father breaking his hip and nearly becoming an invalid on medications, a tough term, and his internet being crapped out for over two weeks, Lels is already really, really sick of this series, and given how the next two episodes are effectively filler and foreshadowing for the next season…he’s done. He wants to move on to other projects like The Road Not Trekked and a different animated series, and Season 2 is…infamous. We’ll let him recover and explain.

[Trigger warning: Yesireebob, we got your slavery apologia and sexism, as well as fanservice of underage girls and mention of date rape. I try to avoid as much as possible, but I’m not a miracle worker.]

[Image heavy by necessity.]

[Scripts are from https://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewforum.php?f=2415, not sporker original work.]

[Link to fork on das_sporking.]

Leliel: So, first of all…gonna apologize for the delay. Besides a final project, my computer was busted. And as noted, March was a bag of dicks for a bunch of other reasons, like my father breaking his hip. He’s recovering, but I needed to de-stress.

Luz: Yeah, sometimes life is snake-eyes. Still, gave us a vacation.

Wanderer: Secondly…well, believe it or not, the last couple episodes were not the season finale. Because right up front, suddenly this show decides there’s four more left…and one of them, fittingly, is a beach episode. You know…the thing that exists to look at girls in skimpy swimsuits. Girls that here, are underage as fuck.

Suspire: …Aaaaaargh. Sweet Siakal, rise from the depths and take me eyes away….

Anne: Yeah, can we have two of those? At least that’ll be short. But first of all…ugh. An episode which proves that Nothing Ever Happens, apparently.

( Graaaah...Undead Story...Braaaaaaains... )


( Spitefic )

[Trigger Warning: Yet Heroes In Crisis, more horrible attitudes towards mental health and gore - also now including substance abuse and sheer emotional betrayal.]

[Image heavy by necessity.]

[Link to das sporking.]

EDIT: I made a major mistake in continuity due to exhaustion and this series' wonky continuity. Please tell me if you see any point where I refer to the Blue Beetle as Jaime Reyes except when I bring up my confusion.

Sumire: …[raises hand]

Leliel: “Makeweight” is another term for “filler”, I looked it up because I have to get some entertainment out of this series. Tongue twisters it is.

Mark: Guardians of the Globe fought a…well, I kinda can’t call him a villain, called the Alliterative Avenger once. Okay guy, but he’s what happens when you combine OCD with a demon possessing him that made him use infernal magic to indulge his dark side, such as making the world a bit more comfortable for his disorder in cosmic ways. Thankfully Consonants the Twister of the Hymns of Creation was exorcised back to their dimensional plane of origin and the Avenger was able to hit a plea bargain for literally being forced into it. Last I heard he makes word games for edutainment purposes.

Stella: Huh. Probably led to some interestin’ stories from your old man. But camera’s on, so…welcome back! And here we have uh…well, gonna be honest, I’m not sure if enough happens to call it much of anythin’. I mean, something happens, and it is a right load of bullshit, but it’s at the very end and the rest is…uhh…?

Wanderer: Fucking nothing happening, basically. I’m almost entirely certain this issue only exists due to storyline stretch, even more than the last one.

[Trigger Warning: More Heroes In Crisis, more horrible attitudes towards mental health, and gore. Add self-harm, gaslighting, depression, PTSD, sheer incompetence in medicine, and a whole bunch more to it.]

[Image heavy by necessity. Also using Imgbb, which is hopefully not blocked, and easier to use than Imgur anyway.]

[Link to das_sporking.]

Malcolm: …I feel a little targeted by that.

Maruki: Well…not to be prejudiced, but you are literally the vigilante vampire with hellfire powers. It is kind of hard to make any reference to Dante without tagging you.

Wanderer: Mildly awkward puns aside, welcome back to this mess of a comic series, where…[sigh] Something I have not been looking forward to happens…

Sumire: …how many of those things are there in this series?!

Leliel: Too many. But there’s a reason we got the psychology sporkers plus the guy who’s plotting to burn it down for this chapter, because this issue is all filler, due to it being a sudden flashback to Sanctuary just before the massacre…and the full reveal that yes, this place is a fucking nightmare of self-inflicted torment.

Malcolm: Correction: I want to burn it down and exorcise the remains. Make sure whatever intelligence formed in the site is well and truly gone.

( We interrupt this series for this breaking filler report: This hospital fucking sucks! )
( Spitefic )

[Trigger Warning: More mental health phobia, of course, but also mild gore, violation of trust and sheer medical malpractice.]

[Image heavy by necessity. Also using a new image hosting service that hopefully isn’t blocked.]

[Fork on das_sporking for members]

Mark: Ugh…looks like I drew the short straw with repeat sporkings.

Stella: If it makes you feel better, I’d honestly prefer sunny, cheerful Alhambra to subjecting meself to this…thing. Because I’m given to understand this is where the storyline gets stupid.

Maruki: Correction: Stupider. It was already pretty dire…

Leliel: Right you are. I wasn’t getting when I called a ‘clue’ here inexplicable, and utterly so. We’ll get into that, but seriously, nobody is smart, least of all Batman, hence the title. And they’re not smart in ways that make them look like selfish jackasses who’d bumble away from the dumb option by taking the good option.

Wanderer: In fact, as we’ll show - we have only begun to scratch the surface of how much of a nightmare Sanctuary is. We revealed a lot already, but seriously, this place comes off as something Darkseid would invent - we weren’t kidding in the comments last time. that a New God of Apokolips masterminding this whole thing would be a massive improvement and a glow-up for that character. In fact, speaking of comments, we have a backpoint!

( On the cover, you are going to see a clown in a position of absolute submission to another, and Harley Quinn. )

( Spitefic )

[Trigger Warning: Lotsa gore, mention of substance abuse, discussion of suicide, all the bad mental health portrayals. It’s going to be quite the series. Also, description of spider monsters in the spitefic.]

[Image heavy by necessity - apologies for the blur on some, trying out new techniques to avoid base-64 coding.]

[Link to fork on Das_Sporking.]

Sumire: [Stares at the title of this sporking, then raises a hand]

Leliel: Steelworking terminology, they’re a type of smithy worker that purifies iron into something less brittle on an industrial scale. Which is, due to this series’ mastery of faux symbolism, is relevant. Don’t worry, they’ll explain what a puddler is, though as we move on, the more and more ridiculous the metaphor will be.

Mark: Uh…yeah, I can kinda sorta maybe almost kinda maybe see it…but “purifies iron to make it strong” already gets my hackles up, because…uh, Viltrumite logic, hello?

Malcolm: If this referred to how the villains saw themselves, I would not mind. But somehow, I suspect this is akin to how the more odious members of my Family convince themselves that they can pig out on the souls of random people who they haven’t seen committing major or violent crimes.

Wanderer: Your expectations are suitably low, because the problems are gonna start with the cover.

( How Not To Frame And Start Your Story )

( Spitefic )

[Link to fork on das-sporking]

[Trigger warning for gore, bad rep of mental health. You will be seeing this warning a lot.]

[Spoiler warning for Persona 5 Royal: Yoshizawa and Maruki’s roles.]

[Mobile warning: Image heavy by necessity]

Leliel: So. Let’s do this one more time, as we explain some things just in case:

( We join our sporkers as they are fetching migraine meds... )

[Trigger Warning: Incestous undertones, weird sex, underage fanservice, ableist humor, adult and gross humor, and discussion of parental emotional abuse. Thankfully, the lore fails are only painful on an intellectual level, and this is the last one. Halle-freaking-lujah.]

[Spoilers for the end of the Horus Heresy novels and the Shakara: the Avenger comic series.]

[Image and video heavy]

[Link to das_sporking]

Leliel: Welcome back to Thousand Shinji where WE HAVE FINALLY REACHED THE LAST CHAPTER!!!!!



Emma: I can’t believe this thing only has 20 chapters, It feels like we’ve been doing this forever.

Shinobu: And holy shit did it scar us. Futaba is now psychic and probably forever tempted by the power of dark sorcery, a co-sporker had to become an Elder God just to contain the damage - and beyond the fourth wall, this fic got so awful one of the three people sporking it just freaking quit near the end.

Taion: And of course, Shinobu and I saw…things. [Shivers in permanent partial loss of sanity and total loss of innocence]

Futaba: Seriously though, while it started off as kind of funny-bad, as the fic went on, it fermented. Pretty much the few redeeming aspects became repetitive and lacking impact, while the bad got skeevy. Thankfully, there’s only a relatively small amount of it this time around, but from what Diego and Nocht tell me, the lore fail is going to be bad.

Nocht: And this is starting from the fact that Him On Terra, who was literally made in opposition to Chaos, was actively working from it. It gets worse from there.

Diego: [Angry fluttering of new wings] To say nothing of the Eva side, and how pretty much everything about it is absorbed by Warhammer in toto to fluff it up…and in so doing, breaks the themes of both beyond repair. [/plug for the spitefic]

[Trigger warning: Body horror, sexism, violence, sexism, infection, childbirth, incest undertones, fetishzing of disease, GENERAL INSANITY. We’re beyond the Rubicon with this one, folks.]

[Link to das_sporking.]

Leliel: [Dead stare] Every time I look at it…it never gets less weird. It’s impressive.

Futaba: Yeah, I…uh…I read the summary of this chapter and the next and…Futaba hurt herself in her confusion. She had to punch herself back to sanity.

Diego: [Low susurrus in a strange, clicking tongue that seems to be in disbelieving agreement.]

Nocht: Erm…can I ask why Diego is currently a colony of xenos fungi? And…I don’t think that’s Low Gothic.

Leliel: Wait, sorry, translator’s not on-[Clicks something.]

Diego: Sl’rezk-ahem! Thanks, much better. I’m not actually physically present, my real self is currently gestating in a chrysalis in a sea of LCL - I had Clarence, my mi-go friend, rig up this as a radio while I complete my ascension to Elder Godhood. Trust me, I’ve seen where this leads from a front-row seat, and sweet merciful All-Mother’s embrace. You are not prepared. None of you are. I wasn’t.

Sophia: Well, it certainly seems things have escalated since I left. Which, given the degree of idiotic heresy we were at last time I was here, doesn’t help much.

Leliel: [plug]Read the spitefic.[/plug] But yeah, you know you’re in for a wild ride when the author’s note tells you Weird Gross Shit Is Going Down.

Thanks, and apologies, to my beta-reader Crazy-88, who I appear to have mentally scarred with this chapter. Prepare for awesome and mindfuckery rarely seen these days. I recommend you bring metal music and a barf bag.

Emma: Mindfuckery, yes. Awesome, no. And I wouldn’t sully any of my beloved Dynazty or A Sound of Thunder by associating it with… this.

Diego: And trust us - we will need a barf bag, but not for the reasons Academia Nut thinks…hopefully. There was a reason Nicholas Cage in one of his distinct roles was the preview image.

[Trigger warnings: Aftermath of mind rape, gore, discussion of sexual assault, misogyny. It’s the last few stretches, folks.]

[Image heavy.]

[ Link to my journal for non-members]

[You may have noticed that one of the IRL co-sporkers has been renamed to Wanderer. Rest assured, it's the same guy, and I'll explain what I can if asked in PMs. Suffice to say, he wants a clean break from his old ID. He is Wanderer/Wanderer2691 in all my previous sporkings now.]

Leliel: Third to last…third to — [Notices Wanderer leaving] ...Wanderer, where are you going?!

Wanderer2691: [Flatly, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, trunks, luau wreath, fedora, shades and crockers, while holding a suitcase full of clothes and his portable game consoles with their associated games] Elsewhere.

Futaba: [Eyes Widen; Exasperated] You mean we can just leave the whole time if we wanted to?!

Wanderer2691: I can, you can't. Remember we own this domain, and I've decided a nice vacation in Hotrealm is what I need after this... shitshow. [Shudders, Before Sternly Grimaces] I'm sorry, normally I’d love to help, but even I've hit my ceiling with this garbage long ago. It's not even funny bad like Shield Hero's inceldom or A Brighter Dark's valiant failure at the source material. This is just bad-bad. I genuinely cannot stomach it any longer.

Leliel: Wait, you can't just leave me here to—

Wanderer2691: Hey, you’re the one who decided to do the Stupid Psychonauts in one go, dude. Just keep me posted if you have anything new, okay? Depending on the future, we may have a skunk to skin... [Beat] ...or an isekai orc. Or— well, whatever, just anything but this. Ciao!

Leliel: Hey, don't you just—

[Wanderer2691 invokes the power of the First Dragons, and warps out of there]

Leliel: [Deflatedly] ...leave me. [Groans in self-pity]

Emma: [Wry Smile] In his defense, he's not wrong; there’s no good way to split this thing. You’re always dealing with entirely too much Thousand Shinji for anyone's sanity.

Taion: Which is why Nocht and Diego are taking a break, I see…but I must ask Shinobu why he tortures himself.

Shinobu: [Bleak smile] Because it gives me an excuse to avoid the next chapter…one I’m informed Nocht needs to see.

Futaba: Hoo boy…I’ve been given the quest log for that too, which is apparently so insane that, despite this not being as terrible as the last two chapters, it’s being spliced off so we can give it all the attention it deserves…especially because, as the title notes, we’re about to see what this fic thinks is a good ending for poor Misato. We will have words.





( The Strategic Myth )